Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Chrysler Firepower!

Chrysler Firepower! For its next trick, Chrysler shows us a snake wearing a tuxedo.

When times are tough, automakers tend to act like Presidents. They don't invade small, defenseless countries, but they have been known to pull an irrational stunt to divert attention away from bad news.

Market share is off? Let's buy an Italian company that rhymes with fettuccine. Quality is on the rocks? Time to revolutionize the sales chain with factory-owned dealerships. Shareholders in revolt? Please give a hand for our new platinum-plated supercar.

The Chrysler ME Four-Twelve, the mid-engine carbon-fiber queen of last year's auto-show circuit, was a diversion extraordinaire. DaimlerChrysler's management wants the plebeian Chrysler brand to ascend the market-crawl right up the pant leg of Lexus and find an artery. Difficult, especially when you're offering kickbacks to buyers to drive home Concordes and Pacificas.

A desperate year ago, throwing a Hail Mary bomb at the $500,000 line seemed to Chrysler chief operating officer Wolfgang Bernhard like a good way to move the team forward. With four turbos, 12 cylinders, 850 horsepower, and about two inches separating butts from bitumen, the ME Four-Twelve was a school-boy doodle in 3-D meant to purge memories of chrome-festooned Fifth Avenues. If the predicted price of a half-mil didn't move Chrysler upscale, well, perhaps nothing would. That was then.

Now, with Bernhard swept out of the company and the Chrysler 300 and Dodge Magnum hooking a U-ey on both the sales and self-assurance of the company, the pressure to do something silly is easing. Having gauged the line for $500,000 Chryslers to be remarkably short, the company is now considering more modest proposals for a flagship sportster.

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